Thursday, April 27, 2006


No, this is not a post about a Roomba, though I will be getting one eventually. Not, this is a post with me wondering why on earth I do this. Blog, I mean.

Most of my brain regurgitation takes place on another blog entirely. This one is about the fibery things, for the most part. An arena in which I am still a novice, be it spinning or knitting. They are things I enjoy immensely, and a way I'd hoped to connect with folks who also like these hobbies.

I mean, I love the internets. I love how people from all over the world can connect and share and become their own community regardless of geographic location. In the virtual world, it's very easy to drop a comment or 'wave' from over the fence to the 'neighbor' next door, or the next blog in your bookmarks or bloglines list. IF you're lucky enough to have folks comment and interact and build that community.

Much of the time, this space is less like a blog and more like popping messages in bottles and casting them out on the sea. Will anyone ever read and discover them?

In real space, I find it incredibly difficult to connect with people. Never fond of large groups, things like Dulaan knit-ins fill me with tension and after the event is over, I look back and realize I did my very best impression of a chameleon fading into the wallpaper over there behind the couch in the corner. I don't really feel like I represent myself well at events like those, and am usually so scattered I find it hard to make a connection with anyone. Naturally fairly reserved anyway, I get hugely frustrated when I read about all the good times other area knitters have when they get together, and I wonder how to get in on good times and great people like that. It's a mystery to me. An honest to Goddess mystery on how other people find it so effortless to just...shazzam! Make friends like that.

I've been pondering the Seattle Knitters Guild, but it looks really huge, with people who are ridiculously talented, and I, never confident about my skills am hugely intimidated by the idea. I was all geared up to go in March, and then my brother came into town. This month's meeting coincided with an event I'd had planned for a while, so that nixed that (plus I didn't need stash temptation). Will I make it in May? What about the NW Spinners Association?

Today is just one of those days when I wonder why I keep trying. Or even if I should.

I'll probably be back in a couple of days - I obviously need serious and extensive applications of wine, chocolate and relaxation to get over this emo!moirae moment. Until then, happy knitting!