Wednesday, July 19, 2006

This post brought to you...

by the letters FH (Fucking Hangover) and the number 4 (how many ibuprofin I just swallowed). Well, that and how many different kinds of booze I had last night. A mini-tour of the world, which stalled at Scotland. Meh. I did visit the Caribbean (rum...arrrrr!), Mexico (Patron tequila), Ireland (a shot of Bailey's over ice) and finally Scotland (McClellan scotch, neat dammit! heh...neat peat. I'm obviously stilil a little tipsy.), and it was the best trip a girl could have while she's looking for work and needing a clean drug test in the event of a hiring. Or so I figure.

Amusingly enough, this is my horrscope for the day. This one (from, is usually freakishly accurate:

You might find that your head is simply throbbing - either physically, mentally, or both. Perhaps there is no logical explanation for it at all. Much of your focus is centered on your skill in thinking matters through rationally. Unfortunately, there is a major blockage that is hindering your ability to process your thoughts. Work through this internal hurdle before trying to deal with external issues.

Ya THINK?!?!

One of the drawbacks of being a moonchild (Cancer sun) is having to deal with the emotional swings hither and yon that result from the moon wandering into a different sign every couple or three days. Yesterday's aspects apparently didn't really do much for me, and in fact had me at "emotional meltdown I hate everyone bloody buggering fucking hell people SUCK!" mode. Add a lifetime of shitty birthdays, with more than a heaping serving of PMS and voila! Recipe for a meltdown. The nacho cheese people should take note at how well it all melts down with this recipe.

I find it very difficult to get close to people, and sometimes it takes building up courage over 100 days to reach out and ask someone if they wanna get a coffee or something, you know, if they're not too busy and their dog's feet doesn't have a fungus that needs treatment or they think I'm not really an alien sent here from another planet to learn the ways of Earthlings. Most of the time I feel like the world is coated in Teflon, and I just sort of...slide off everyone and everything. Can't make a dent, no matter how hard I try. Can't make a connection, can't spark an interest for ME in anyone, can't leave any sort of cosmic grafitti tag that says "I WUZ HERE!" as proof that I do, in fact, exist outside my own head.

355 days of the year, I'm OK with living in my head. My birthday is one day where I need, I absolutely need some kind of acknowledgement that other people do, in fact, see me. Rarely does it happen, and while I am trying to break the cycle, this year the aspects were against me.

Ah, challenges.

You know what cool thing I discovered yesterday though? That NOrma (yes, THAT Norma!) and I share a birthday. She definitely did hers with more grace, style, and a significantly smaller dose of humiliation. Because she's Norma and everyone loves her (with good reason, I might add). I can only assume she was a lesson for yesterday, in how to gracefully do...something that I am having a hard time figuring out because my head is, in fact, throbbing a bit but also because it's pre-coffee and I barely know where my ass is located. It'll come to me later, like a flash of heat that's either the light bulb going off, the burn of my humiliated blush, or possibly sunstroke. Occasionally, there isn't much of a difference between the three sensations.

Oddly enough, this horoscope from DailyOm (which is a lovely service, especially if you do in fact sign up for the DailyOm) has similar advice for today:

You may feel overly sensitive today, and want to withdraw from the world. You could find yourself feeling nervous and insecure about yourself or your abilities, which could make you feel out of place no matter where you are. If you can set aside some time to work through these feelings, you should find yourself enjoying a much more peaceful state of mind.

For once I'm taking the stars advice and if you'll excuse me, I'm going to crawl back under a rock now.